This weekend marks the New Year, and as in previous years, I must still make a timely appearance at my mother-in-law's home.

In Hunan, this has almost become an unwritten rule: On New Year's Eve at noon, sons-in-law go to their mother-in-law's home for a meal; then, they rush back to their own home for the New Year's Eve dinner in the evening. It's not something any family explicitly emphasizes, but rather "everyone does it this way." Not following suit would make you seem inconsiderate.

The question is, is this seemingly "traditional" arrangement truly an old custom?

A New Tradition That Looks Very "Traditional"

If judged solely by real-life observations, it's easy to assume this is a long-standing local custom. However, when I browsed through various local chronicles in the Hunan Digital Local Chronicles Archive, I discovered a counterintuitive phenomenon. In Hunan's local chronicles from the 1970s and 1980s to around the 2000s, the descriptions of New Year's Eve customs are highly consistent, yet they hardly leave any room for sons-in-law.

Whether in the chronicles of Shuangfeng, Xiangxiang, Hengshan, Changning, Yiyang, You County, or Shaoshan, the core of New Year's Eve descriptions remains "returning to one's own home," "family reunion," and "worshipping ancestors and staying up late." New Year's Eve is regarded as the most important family gathering of the year, where those away from home must return to their own families. The reunion dinner, staying up late, and giving red envelopes all revolve around the same family system.

For this reason, if the custom of sons-in-law visiting their mother-in-law's home for New Year were a stable and widely recognized practice, it would be unlikely to be entirely absent from so many local chronicles.

The "Missing" Sons-in-Law in Local Chronicles

However, this does not mean that traditional society ignored the mother-in-law's family. On the contrary, local chronicles provide very clear and consistent records of "the second day of the New Year."

Shuangfeng, Shaoshan, and Xiangxiang all have the saying, "On the first day, sons; on the second day, sons-in-law; on the third and fourth days, visiting neighbors." The Yiyang County Chronicle explicitly states, "On the first day, sons; on the second day, sons-in-law." Hengshan has, "On the first day, sons; on the second day, sons-in-law; on the third and fourth days, visiting maternal relatives." Leiyang is even more direct: "On the first day, sons; on the second day, sons-in-law." In other words, in the traditional festival sequence, the "main stage" for sons-in-law is not New Year's Eve but the second day of the New Year.

The logic behind this arrangement is actually quite clear. New Year's Eve is the most solemn and core ritual time within the clan, emphasizing returning to one's own family and worshipping ancestors. Relationships with the maternal family are systematically arranged for the post-festival visiting phase. Sons-in-law are not unimportant but are placed in a "deferred handling" position.

For this reason, sons-in-law in traditional society did not need to engage in complex time-switching on New Year's Eve. The real "hardship" began in modern times.

So, Where Did This "New Rule" Come From?

Personally, I feel the answer lies not in traditional rituals but in reality.

In recent decades, clan structures have gradually dissolved, shrinking from "clans" to "couples and parents." New Year's Eve is no longer a mandatory festival requiring a return to one's hometown or ancestral hall. At the same time, transportation conditions have undergone profound changes. While seemingly convenient, they have brought the issue to the forefront: Same-day round trips have become technically feasible and psychologically "expected."

Thus, a highly modern compromise has solidified. Sons-in-law visit their mother-in-law's home at noon and rush back to their own home in the evening. It is fair, dignified, considerate of emotions, and not too costly—unless the geographical distance is particularly large, making the round trip genuinely difficult.

However, what is perplexing is that this arrangement has not replaced "the second day for sons-in-law" but has been superimposed on it. The result is that sons-in-law must first visit their mother-in-law's home on New Year's Eve and then formally visit again two days later for New Year greetings. The traditional "one-time arrangement" has been split into "two obligations" in modern times.

As more and more families adopt this practice, it is no longer seen as a negotiated outcome but quickly moralized into a "rule." The cost of refusing it far exceeds the cost of following it.

In summary, the expectation for sons-in-law to visit their mother-in-law's home for New Year is a "new tradition," but it is often packaged as an "old custom," making it difficult to refuse. After all, traditional customs won't turn against you, but reality might. Of course, in this process, it's not just the sons-in-law who face inconvenience; their wives and children must also join in the hustle, repeatedly embarking on this unavoidable journey.