To be honest, it is somewhat embarrassing that after working for over a decade, I have only just received a formal “award” for the first time this year. In the past, when filling out various resumes and personal profiles, I would usually write “None” in the boxes for “When, where, and what kind of awards received.” Now, I have finally moved past that awkward situation.
What an Award Means
This is an “Advanced Individual” award selected once every five years, issued jointly by the Provincial Department of Human Resources and Social Security and the provincial-level department corresponding to my work. In terms of the awarding entity, it is considered a “provincial-level working department evaluation and commendation project,” and in terms of hierarchy, it falls under “awards below the provincial level.”
These types of “below provincial level awards” are actually quite common in daily life. I feel that within the system, calculated over a long period, more than 1/3 of people can obtain one, especially considering the numerous municipal and county-level commendation projects.
However, awards at or above the provincial and ministerial level are much harder to get. Not long ago, I saw a list of provincial and ministerial level commendations, awards, and honorary titles in our local area during the “14th Five-Year Plan” period. For the years 2021–2025, there were only 60 verifiable people in total, which translates to an average of only 12 people per year receiving such awards. However, since this statistic included three categories of lists, it visually appeared a bit “diluted.” For example, a dozen people received the National Blood Donation Devotion Award issued by departments like the National Health Commission; this award has no limit on the number of recipients, as anyone who accumulates 20 blood donations can receive it, so more people win it as time goes on. There are also many special task commendations from national ministries, such as for participating in the investigation of certain types of illegal acts in a given year. Nevertheless, most are “hardcore awards,” such as the titles of “National Outstanding Party Worker” or “National Model Worker” issued by the CPC Central Committee and the State Council. Among them, the former has only about 300 recipients nationwide; at the county level, 95% of counties in the country may not have a single person receiving such an honor. Similarly, for titles like “National Model Teacher” issued by the Ministry of Education or “Special Grade Teacher” and “Excellent Teacher” issued by the provincial government, a county usually has only about 10 teachers who can win them within five years—essentially one in a hundred.
The Selection Process
Before winning this award, I had already participated in two selections, but both ended in “failure.”
The first time was for the 2016–2020 National Advanced Individual in Legal Outreach. At that time, I participated under the name of my system’s national ministry rather than being recommended by the local Justice Bureau like most people. In that selection, I was told I was one of the two candidates recommended by the Provincial Department to the national ministry. However, the ministry’s announcement eventually showed they only had three recommendation slots in total; the ones ultimately recommended through the ministry were two professors from ministry-affiliated universities and a division chief from a certain provincial department in central China.
The second time was for the most recent once-every-five-years national advanced individual selection within our system. At that time, I was recommended to the Provincial Department by my local municipal bureau as an advanced individual, but I didn’t make it past the Provincial Department stage. In the end, only two people from this province received that award, coming from the Provincial Department and the provincial capital respectively. It was this participation that made me realize how difficult it is to obtain a high-level “award” within the current system. It is not just a “one-in-a-hundred” probability; it also carries typical political and era-specific characteristics. Anyone who achieves high-level honors must truly put in many times more effort than personnel in the same position in other regions. After all, pies don’t just fall from the sky.
The award I received this time has a more abundant quota because the awarding level is relatively lower. When the municipal bureau organized recommendations in the first half of last year, I was once again recommended among brother units and became one of the provincial-level advanced individuals in this industry. Looking at the commendation list, besides provincial-level units and the provincial capital, every other prefecture-level city had two people who received honors, which could be considered a fair distribution.
Acceptance Thoughts
Late last year, the Provincial Department publicized the list of proposed awardees. At that time, a classmate working in the same system forwarded it to a group chat. I could only laugh and say in the group that this was still the public comment stage and the certificate was nowhere to be seen.
That night, a brother who shared my university dormitory took the opportunity to chat with me for a long time—covering everything from our respective work and family situations to the status of our classmates, and our thoughts on the current situation and the future. This brother now works in the public security bureau of a certain city. The reason I took the civil service exam back then was thanks to his guidance; I stumbled into the system because of him. But what I am most grateful to him for was the day my father passed away during the first semester of my senior year. When I heard the news, I was completely stunned, sitting in the dorm not knowing what to do next. Only the two of us were in the dorm. Upon hearing the news, he immediately pulled 300 yuan—his “bottom-of-the-trunk” money—out of his locker and gave it to me, telling me to hurry and buy a ticket back home. In fact, it was near the end of the month and everyone was short on money; those 300 yuan were what he had set aside for emergencies. It was with this 300 yuan subsidy that I sat on the Wuhan-Guangzhou High-Speed Railway—the first in the country, which had not been open long—for the first time, and was able to see my father one last time before he was placed in the coffin. Otherwise, if I had followed the usual method of going to the station to buy a regular train ticket, I wouldn’t have reached home until the next day. The year we graduated, he signed up for the civil service exam for a post in a remote prison. At that time, I had no concept of such a profession, but while I was earning an internship salary of 2000 yuan at an IT outsourcing company, I was stunned by his words: “A prison’s annual income can reach 80,000.” So, I also signed up for the exam. However, neither of us passed that year. After getting our diplomas, he went to a law office to intern and prepare to be a lawyer, while I was recommended by a teacher to work as a contract clerk in a court. We took the exam again the following year; he got into a municipal public security branch, starting from a police station and now handling legal affairs at the branch, while I entered the Justice Bureau of another city and later transferred across regions to my current unit, also handling legal affairs. Relatively speaking, within our university class, we have both “stuck to our original trade.”
After receiving this award, the unit’s publicity department arranged a special interview report for me. Since these types of reports usually have a strong “promotional” color, the main content described the achievements I made in my work over the past few years. I have accepted such promotional interviews and reports many times before, and I feel there is quite a difference between the “me” in the reports and my actual image at work. In particular, some of the thick, system-specific expressions made me feel “undeserving.” After years of professional immersion within the system, I also know that often, this kind of commendation, award, or news report on an individual can easily trigger a “backlash.” In reality, most people do not want this kind of spotlight; it’s just that sometimes there is no choice—being in the midst of it, one can only keep one’s head down and move forward.
In the final analysis, this “late” award is more like a mirror, reflecting not only the work achievements seen by superiors and colleagues over the past few years but also serving as a milestone for over a decade of work.
Back then, I stumbled into this path by accident and never really thought about how the road ahead would go. Based on the collapsed family financial situation and my shallow personal understanding at the time, I luckily got in under the relaxed examination competition environment of those years. Later, I started a family and a career, gradually wearing down and growing day after day in an ordinary position. Looking back now, having signed up for that “80,000 yuan salary,” I didn’t expect to have walked on this road for so long. From “having no choice” to the current professional inertia, there has been no grand or heroic process in between—it is more of a restraint born from compromising with reality.
This award fills the awkwardness of that “None” on my resume, but in my heart, it is more like a late reconciliation. It tells me that even if the original motivation for entering the industry was ignorant and ordinary, as long as I haven’t wasted those specific and minute tasks during these long ten-plus years, time will eventually give back an echo. Perhaps in the future, I will still feel trepidation during various form-fillings and promotions, but at the moment I close my office door every night, I know I have transformed from the ignorant “mountain village test-taker” of those years into the pillar of my family, and a tiny but solid screw in this massive system. That is enough.