After a night’s stay at a 7 Days Inn in Shanghai, we set off from the Shanghai Bus Terminal to Jiangsu. Even before boarding the bus, my body started to protest, but my heart was still eager to attend the wedding. My friend’s family is in Rugao, Nantong, and I had promised to visit them many years ago. Today, that promise was finally fulfilled.
It was a sunny day, the first long trip of 2014, with someone accompanying and taking care of me all the way, and we were going to attend a good friend’s wedding… These small elements were enough to be sources of happiness. The bus steadily drove along the broad road towards our destination. Sitting by the window, I calmly pulled open the curtain and did what one does on long journeys—slept. Although my phone, iPad, and music player were in my bag, I chose to conserve my energy, hoping to meet the family I had only been in touch with for seven years in a refreshed and radiant state.
When I opened my eyes in a daze, the bus was nearing the urban area of Rugao. I shook the person next to me, pointing out the rows of trees with large and small bird nests. A warm, pastoral atmosphere wafted through the window. Houses with large fences dotted the broad, flat land, like a grand feast on an enormous carpet, with each family being the honored guest invited here.
Closer and closer, the Rugao Bus Station came into view. As soon as we reached the terminal, I took a deep breath and hurried outside. The wind was strong, the plain’s wind was open and unobstructed. I checked my watch; it was just past three in the afternoon, and I guessed dinner wouldn’t start until six. Looking around, I searched for a flower shop. I didn’t find one, but I saw many uniquely modified tricycles. With two of us, fearless and bold, we decided to head into the city. We hopped onto a tricycle driven by an uncle. As soon as we spoke, he knew we were from out of town. He didn’t overcharge us, surprisingly saying, “Just 15 yuan, that place is far.”
Rugao is a county-level city, with shops lining the streets and bustling crowds, much like other places. We walked into a large bookstore and picked out a few small gifts for my friend’s little niece. Stepping out of the bookstore, I wasn’t in the mood to sightsee, still thinking about the flowers. He dragged me quite a distance and even used the almighty Google. We found a flower shop on a pedestrian street, but unfortunately, it was already closed. Unwilling to give up, I continued searching, running through two streets, but came back empty-handed. He, on the other hand, leisurely bought some spicy gluten snacks from a street vendor surrounded by people, eating with relish. Two skewers weren’t enough, so he bought ten more.
We both agreed that we had never tasted such delicious gluten before. It was truly fragrant. I could still smell the aroma, endlessly delightful. Whether it was the happiness born from the special situation or something else, we were like children, jumping with joy on the streets of an unfamiliar city.
As the sky darkened, I remembered my friend saying to call him when we arrived at the station. As expected, he was too busy, so he gave us an address and told us to take a taxi. The taxi driver, a local, was incredibly kind. He introduced us to the area along the way, and we openly told him our purpose. He took us to a flower shop and said, “Tell me the types and prices of the flowers you want to buy, and I’ll help you negotiate the price.”
Indeed, we bought a large, beautifully packaged bouquet of flowers at a very reasonable price. When the taxi arrived at my friend’s large courtyard, it was almost dark. To express our sincere gratitude to the driver, we not only paid the fare but also gave him the sky-blue storage bucket that came with the books we bought. We had heard about the honesty and integrity of Jiangsu businessmen, and this small incident was a glimpse of that.
Next was the story at my friend’s house.
The groom was always busy. After dinner, we were arranged to watch TV and eat snacks in the upstairs living room. Haha. The uncle and aunt took the time to come up and specially greet us, thinking we must be tired from the long journey. The uncle and aunt were very approachable, and the youthful voices we had heard on the phone were now right beside us. During the conversation, we learned about the uncle’s career growth. The aunt joked, “Your uncle chased me very hard when he was young, but now that he’s old, he’s tired of me…” The uncle quickly defended himself, “Your aunt was really beautiful back then, and she suffered a lot with me. We started with nothing and slowly built up. She does all the housework, and now taking care of our granddaughter is even more tiring…” In fact, their relationship has been strong for decades. Perhaps the key to a family’s happiness lies in the harmony between the couple. Not keeping score of who does more, but seeing and being grateful for each other’s efforts.
I heard that the local wedding custom is to pick up the bride after midnight. Having never seen this before, I asked the groom if we could join the bridal party. After checking that our zodiac signs were compatible with the bride’s, we were approved.
The bridal party, including the groom, totaled eight people. After eating glutinous rice balls (leaving a few in the bowl, the number must be even), we set off. In the middle of the night, the temperature dropped to around zero degrees, and the cold wind made us grit our teeth, but everyone’s spirits were high, especially the groom. Dressed in a sharp suit and holding a bouquet of flowers, he looked truly dashing. Haha. Of course, I was no exception, as this was my first time participating in a bridal party at this age.
The bride’s home was in another town, not too far but not too close either. Along the way, the photographer’s camera clicked away, giving us the feeling of being at a press conference. About a hundred meters from the bride’s house, the cars stopped. The men got out to light firecrackers. Only after her family responded with firecrackers could we drive over to pick up the bride. This custom had its own unique charm. After entering, we followed the tradition of eating glutinous rice balls. After finishing, we finally got to see the bride’s face. Her mother personally put on her sunglasses, covered her with a red veil, and gave her detailed instructions. After bidding farewell to her family, the bride could follow the groom into the wedding car. Since the number of people in the car had to be even, and with the professional driver, there had to be four people, so I was lucky enough to sit in the front passenger seat of the wedding car. This was a very auspicious task, with warm music playing in the car, filled with joy. At that moment, I silently wished the couple a lifetime of happiness and companionship.
By the time we brought the bride home, it was past two in the morning. After some auspicious procedures, the groom and bride entered the bridal chamber, and our mission was successfully completed.
The next day’s wedding was lively and bustling. But the bride and groom were merely supporting actors, only stepping onto the stage when necessary. The parents were the main characters. The groom’s father was tied with a large red silk flower, and his face was painted with two large colored eggs. He had to carry props and circle the venue to the sound of gongs and drums. The groom’s mother had to wear a pair of glasses, with one lens blacked out and the other clear. It made everyone laugh. The crowd played and joked around the lavish banquet, having a great time.
A unique traditional Jiangsu countryside wedding was deeply imprinted in our minds.
Time was too short, so we had to hurriedly say our goodbyes. The bride and groom came out to see us off, until the car drove far away. We saw the uncle standing on a large truck, throwing handfuls of wedding candies to the houses on both sides of the road.
Goodbye, dear and lovely family! I remembered the uncle raising his glass to welcome us during the banquet, hoping we would visit often.
FEI, YU, I wish you happiness again! I will definitely come back when I have time! By then, your child will be old enough to run errands. But first, welcome to Hunan!
Rugao is located on the north bank of the Yangtze River estuary. From a geographical perspective, due to the Earth’s rotation, the water flow in the Northern Hemisphere tends to shift to the “right,” causing sediment to deposit on the left bank. The Yangtze River carries soil from millions of square kilometers of land in China, continuously depositing it on the north bank, forming this region. Therefore, during the journey from Shanghai to Rugao, the most striking realization was—how flat a plain can be, with no undulations or hills for hundreds of kilometers. In contrast, the Dongting Lake Plain and the Pearl River Delta, where we have lived for a long time, have rivers that do not alter the landscape as dramatically as the Yangtze, so small hills and mounds are scattered everywhere, even in the core areas of the Pearl River Delta, with riverbeds and fragmented land, interspersed with small hills and mounds. The resulting differences are very significant, mainly in that, under the geographical conditions of the Yangtze River Delta, any land can be used for agriculture, industry, or residential purposes after minor adjustments, while the Pearl River Delta has large areas of hilly wasteland that are difficult to develop and utilize, leading to a significant gap in the per capita available land area in administrative regions with the same area and population. A concentrated manifestation of this is the difference in per capita housing area. The housing standards for homesteads in the Pearl River Delta are almost the strictest in the country, with homestead buildings in plain areas and urban suburbs not exceeding 80 square meters, while in most parts of Jiangsu, it is 200 square meters (135 square meters for areas with less than 1 mu of arable land per capita). My friend’s house, including the garage and yard, is close to 3 mu (2000 square meters), which in the Pearl River Delta would only be enjoyed by top tycoons. Rugao was once one of the two largest counties in the country during the Republic of China era, the other being my hometown neighbor, Shaoyang County. Like Foshan Sanshui, it is also a longevity village in the country. Although it boasts the most advantageous geographical environment and location in China (the sunny side of the Yangtze River estuary), the north bank of the river seems to be underperforming, still lagging behind southern Jiangsu, but on a national scale, it is still above average.
- by Jessie