“Our bodies, hair, and skin are received from our parents; we dare not damage them. This is the beginning of filial piety.” – The Classic of Filial Piety, Chapter 1: The Scope and Meaning

Unknowingly, it has been over three months since my last haircut. Normally, I trim my hair every one and a half to two months, and the longest I’ve gone without a haircut is about three months.

In my hometown, there is a custom that when an elder passes away, the younger generation must not cut their hair for 100 days. The reasons behind this are somewhat unclear, so I searched extensively online but found no definitive answer.

I only gathered a few fragmented insights:

1. This is a traditional Chinese custom called “mourning filial piety,” where one refrains from cutting their hair or shaving for three months.
2. Some superstitious beliefs suggest that it takes 49 days for the soul of the deceased to completely leave the body and reach the afterlife. Cutting hair during this period is avoided to prevent any lingering attachments, so hair can only be cut after 49 days.
3. In ancient times, hair was considered a precious gift from one’s parents. Therefore, during the mourning period for a deceased relative, cutting hair was prohibited to avoid bringing misfortune to the departed. The duration varied, sometimes 35 days, sometimes 49 days, reflecting a small part of China’s 5,000-year-old “traditional” culture.
4. Traditionally, Chinese people refrain from cutting their hair for three months, though customs vary by region. The reasons are diverse: some say it’s to express mourning and remembrance for the deceased, while others believe hair holds a person’s soul and contains their life essence. Cutting hair too soon after a family member’s death might cause the deceased’s soul to take the living’s soul with them, and so on. There are many such explanations.
5. In our local custom, it’s similar. Since hair grows back, people refrain from cutting it to pray for good fortune, hoping to prevent further tragedies in the family. Hair is only cut after the 28th day following the elder’s passing.

Personally, I lean toward agreeing with the third explanation, though the others also make sense. Regardless, going 100 days without a haircut isn’t particularly difficult for me, even though the hair on my forehead now reaches my lips. Even if it were challenging, I would persist. I didn’t do much for my father while he was alive, and if I can’t manage this small gesture now, I would feel unworthy as a person.

For the Chinese, “hair” carries profound significance.

Lu Xun wrote in The Story of Hair:

“My friend, do you know that hair is both a treasure and a curse for us Chinese? Throughout history, countless people have suffered needlessly over it!”
“Our ancient ancestors seemed to regard hair lightly. According to legal codes, the most important part of the body was the head, so decapitation was the severest punishment. Next came the genitals, hence castration and confinement were terrifying penalties. As for shaving the head, it was considered a minor punishment, yet one can only imagine how many people were socially ostracized for being bald.”
“When we talk about revolution, we often mention the Yangzhou Massacre and the Jiading Massacre, but these were merely tactics. To be honest, the resistance of the Chinese at that time wasn’t about losing the country—it was about the queue.”
“When the rebels were wiped out and the old loyalists died, the queue became permanent. Then the Taiping Rebellion erupted. My grandmother once told me how hard it was to be a commoner back then: those who kept their hair were killed by government troops, while those with queues were killed by the rebels!”
“I don’t know how many Chinese people have suffered, endured hardship, or perished because of this seemingly trivial matter of hair.”

For the full text, see Wikipedia.

Finally, let’s revisit The Classic of Filial Piety:

Chapter 1: The Scope and Meaning
Confucius was at home, and Zengzi was in attendance. The Master said, “The ancient kings had a perfect virtue and an essential way, which they used to bring harmony to the world. The people lived in peace, and there was no resentment between superiors and inferiors. Do you know what it was?” Zengzi rose from his mat and said, “I am not intelligent; how could I know?” The Master said, “Filial piety is the root of virtue and the source of all teachings. Sit down again, and I will explain. Our bodies, hair, and skin are received from our parents; we dare not damage them. This is the beginning of filial piety. To establish oneself and follow the path of righteousness, to leave a name for future generations, and to bring honor to one’s parents—this is the ultimate goal of filial piety. Filial piety begins with serving one’s parents, continues with serving one’s ruler, and is completed by establishing oneself. As the Book of Odes says, ‘Never forget your ancestors; cultivate your virtue.’”